Adventure / Thoughts / Travel / Upcoming plans

Dazed and kind of confused: caught in a lull

The past few months have been hectic for me, whether it was due to the lack of work available, my complete career and post-graduation confusion, or because I was traveling. Every week has seemed ridiculously complicated. Well, until now.

I find myself in a sort of lull. After weeks, months, and even years of trying to figure out what to do after graduation (yes, I even thought about it in high school!), it finally makes sense. My constant inner struggle between going after what I love or doing the “responsible” thing has stopped playing such a major role in the way I think and approach things. There’s a way to do both, I tell myself, and they are not mutually exclusive.

I’m approaching the end of my first month of studying for the LSAT, finding myself not being as stressed out as I was a week or two ago. Yet, with the prospect of European travel on the horizon, I’m getting distracted.

My daily post-work sessions of 2-3 hours of studying have slowly but surely turned into a couple of hours wasting time looking for information on my prospective destination, or seeing what my friends that are currently there are up to. I haven’t even had my interview – for the position that would send me abroad – yet, but I daydream about it and what my life could be like all the time. It could be conceived as a good thing; my desire to see things as totally possible and assuredly real is positive, but as they say, “get your head out of the clouds”. And that’s exactly where my head is right now – in the clouds.

I have my interview next week and can’t help but constantly think of what I might be asked, if I’ll be liked enough to be offered a position, or if I’m wasting my time thinking about it when I could let it sink in after the fact. I normally don’t let myself get caught up on things that may not even happen, but this time, it’s kind of hard not to. What I’m going after is something I’ve dreamed of doing since I was rather young; something that I actually forgot about until recently.

The next few weeks will be long ones, I’m sure. I’ll sit around with my study materials, trying to keep my eye on the prize, while hoping I get that lucky break that could truly turn me into a worthy traveler.

So, while I like it up here in the clouds, it may be time to come back down to earth.

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