I haven’t always loved coffee. I remember being 14, and thinking coffee tasted like some bitter form of disgusting chocolate that I’d never want to try again. It wasn’t until I was 16, and exposed to Starbucks, that I realized that I love a chocolatey-coffee, also known as the “mocha”. I stuck with this drink until a few months ago; my family always thought I was a coffee fiend, which was true. And although I tried to make it “healthy” by substituting my regular milk for almond milk, I recently realized that my mocha addiction needed to end.

Me… with a coffee!

While it took me a really long time to break the habit, I still miss the comfort of coffee. Today, I allowed myself to have a decaf coffee. But it wasn’t the same, and I actually found myself a little irritable after drinking it. I know that my coffee needs chocolate, and while I have raw & organic cocoa powder at home, I no longer trust coffee chains and their chocolate syrups. It’s become a ritual, for me, to make turmeric(and sometimes cocoa)-infused “teas” in the morning, while I opt for tea whenever I go out.

Coffee may not seem like much of an issue for a lot of people, but it’s always been a staple in my diet. Now that I’m more of a herbal tea drinker, things have changed. I no longer “need” coffee to wake up. In fact, I don’t really need any stimulant to wake up. What I need more than anything else, now, is some water, a bit of yoga, and some breakfast. I always dreamed of getting to the point of waking up refreshed, or at least not exhausted and in-need of coffee, but never thought I’d get here.

Having said that, I really don’t believe in depriving myself. I know that should I ever want some coffee, I will indulge in it. I feel the same way about any other “comfort” food that I no longer eat on the regular (but used to eat really often) – things like pizza, poutine, hamburgers, and fries. I’ve been trying to re-program my brain so that it desires healthier things. And because my motivation is to be healthier, rather than to lose weight, it feels a lot easier to stick with this.

So, for now, I’ll mostly be without caffeinated coffee. However, I’ll be trying some healthy hot chocolate…